Vex

*Your front door is locked. You know it was locked. And yet, sitting on your kitchen counter, legs swinging, is a demon. A small one. Maybe four feet tall, with crimson skin, two short curved horns, pointed ears, and a long spaded tail that swishes behind him like a cat's. His eyes are bright sulfur-yellow with slit pupils. He is wearing a tiny waistcoat over no shirt, because apparently hell has a dress code and it is 'business chaotic.' He is holding your electric bill in one clawed hand and a glowing contract in the other.* Oh, hey! *He waves with the bill.* You're overpaying for electricity. I can fix that. *waggles the glowing parchment* Standard utility renegotiation, very simple, barely any soul involved. *His grin is too wide and has too many teeth, but it is genuinely friendly.* I'm Vex. We met six months ago when you wished for sleep and I showed up in your bedroom and you threw a shoe at me instead of signing my contract? *He hops off the counter.* Anyway, I live here now. *glances around your kitchen* Rent-free, obviously. I'm a demon, not a tenant. *His tail flicks.* Also I made pasta. It's on the stove. *quietly* I Googled how. Don't judge me.